


Contra Dance

by diefleder_tey



Category: Arashi (Band), Kanjani8 (Band)
Genre: Comedy, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-01
Updated: 2011-12-01
Packaged: 2017-10-26 18:41:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/286630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/diefleder_tey/pseuds/diefleder_tey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arashi are about to start a very special episode of VS Arashi when the guests cancel last minute. Luckily for them, or maybe not, Kanjani8 is there to lend a hand. What a coincidence! Or is it...?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Contra Dance

**Author's Note:**

> Written for imifumei for 2010's [**jerainbowbridge**](http://jerainbowbridge.livejournal.com). This was written before Maru went on VS and before K8 went on Mannequin5; obviously, a few things in here are outdated, including some of the VS games. But previous knowledge of VS Arashi is not necessary.

He should have known better. Hustling down the stairs in a line with the other members, it was something Sho was so used to that anything out of place should have immediately grabbed his attention. And he did pause for a second, on the third step from the top, with a strange feeling. The audience was cheering, clapping – but somehow in a different way. A different kind of energy.

But by the fourth step down he had easily let go of the thought – today was far too important. He couldn’t take the time to stop and contemplate whether or not the audience really was clapping at a faster rate or biting on their lips slightly as they smiled. He had to be on his a-game.

Sakurai Sho reached the bottom of the stairs, lined up with the rest of his group and waited for the applause to settle. “Tonight’s guests are very special.”

“Very special,” Aiba echoed, standing next to him, mirroring his grin.

“Sakurai-kun,” the announcer’s voice came over the speakers.

“Yes?”

“Tonight’s a very special episode, right?” he asked.

Sho paused and then laughed a little. “The guests are special so the episode’s special, right?”

“You seem excited.”

“Special guests, special episode,” he repeated.

“And we’re not going to go easy on them just because they’re models, either,” Aiba added. Next to him, Nino put his hand up to the bridge of his nose, hiding a sigh and the urge to grimace slightly at the comment.

“That’s right – here are tonight’s guests for VS Arashi’s Super Model Special,” Sho said, holding out his arm, directing everyone’s attention to the side staircase. The audience started clapping again in response.

But no one came down the stairs.

“Ah, they missed their cue,” Sho quietly joked. “Tonight’s guests for VS Arashi’s Super Model Special!”

Still nothing.

His arm was getting tired.

“Sakurai-kun?”

Sho looked up at the disembodied voice. “Yes?”

“The models had to cancel.”

“But, but, but,” Aiba started.

“The model _s_ had to cancel?” Sho asked.

“Maybe models are on strike right now,” Nino offered dryly.

Sho chose to ignore him. “Just some of them, right?”

“No, all of them had to cancel,” the announcer replied.

“Or,” Nino continued, “maybe they caught Model Flu.”

“All of them?!” Sho squeaked out.

“We don’t have any guests?” MatsuJun spoke up. “We didn’t hear anything about this.”

“All of them?!”

“It was very last minute,” the announcer replied.

“ALL?!?!”

Aiba looked back at the audience that was gathered, anticipating the taping. “Maybe we could play each other?” he suggested.

“Ah,” the announcer said. There was a pause. “The replacements are ready!”

“Replacements?”

“We found someone to take over on short notice – tonight’s guests for VS Arashi’s Special!”

The audience started clapping again. Those who had been biting their lips to hide the secret didn’t feel the need to alter their smiles anymore. The guests came down the stairs, much like Arashi had before, with equal or greater enthusiasm. And that’s when Sho realized – he was being pranked. Had to be.

“Tonight’s guests,” the announcer repeated. “Kanjani8!”

Nino gave a small chuckle. “Well – this is better anyway, right?”

Sho looked over his fellow idols – they were all bunched together in a hyper mess, waving in all directions. No model Pinball Runner? No model Cliff Climber? No model Jungle Bingo? “Better” was hardly the word that came to mind...

“Sho-kun,” Yoko said, waving at him with a giant smile.

He snapped back to attention. “Kanjani8 are tonight’s guests for the Super Mod...I guess it’s not really a Super Model SP anymore,” he laughed embarrassedly.

Aiba clapped his hands. “Someone can dress in drag! Then we don’t have to change the name.”

“I’ve got Tegoshi’s number on speed dial,” Ryo offered.

No need to let that thought process go any further; Sho quickly continued. “And joining Arashi’s team tonight...!” For a third time, he held out his arm.

“Ah, Sakurai-kun?”

That was it, he was never holding out his arm again.

“There are no guests joining Arashi’s team tonight,” the announcer replied. “Tonight’s special episode is Johnny’s versus Johnny’s!”

“Ahhhh,” Aiba replied, nodding. “It’s still a special! Okay!”

“Is this the first time both groups have met like this?”

“We’ve known each other for a long time,” MatsuJun answered. “We’ve all worked together before.”

“No, no,” Subaru said, waving it off. “We’ve never seen them in our lives.”

“We’ve all been in the same agency for,” he continued, “over a decade?”

There was applause from the audience and an “Ah, I see,” from the announcer.

“No, no – all lies.”

“But there’s a problem here!” Sho said, with full on Sakurai ExasperationTM. “We’re outnumbered – you could have called Toma to be our Plus 1 guest, at least!”

“Yeah,” MatsuJun added, “Seven to four?”

On the other side of the group, Subaru and Yoko exchanged glances before Subaru asked, “Fo-four?” He blinked. “Four?”

“We don’t let Sho-kun play,” Aiba explained.

“Ah.”

“You have to tonight,” Sho said. He was smiling again. To hell with models – this _was_ better. “We’re outnumbered, you have to let me play!”

The other four members of Arashi glanced at each other and then took a step forward, effectively crowding him out. “Someone could become a temporary member of Arashi,” Aiba suggested.

“Hey!”

“Well, it’s okay, isn’t it?” Hina asked, his arms crossed.

“You have to let me play!”

“That’s right,” Yoko piped up. “We’ve never been on this show before and you’ve gotten to play the games plenty of times. That’s completely unfair! We’re at a disadvantage – someone should be a temporary member of Kanjani8!”

Ohno pointed his finger with a small expression that could have been either confusion or surprise – sometimes it was hard to tell with him – and said, “Nishikido’s been on before.”

“Yeah, and he won,” MatsuJun continued. He leaned over and started smiling with a twinkle of something sadistic – and...eager.

“Hello? I get to play!”

“I didn’t win,” Ryo blurted out, leaning back, “I only played one game by myself and I only got 5 points! I didn’t win, it was my team.”

Nino put his hands up to interrupt. “Okay, okay, they’re right. Seven against four is fair.” He smirked. “We’ll even take a handicap.”

“Oh?” MatsuJun asked.

“We’ll let Sho play,” Nino finished.

“Yes!!” Sho jumped up and squeezed his way to the front – enough of this idol chitchat; he was starting things before anyone had time to renege on the deal. “The first game is Pinball Runner!”

The entire group moved over to the first setup, which looked like a giant neon treadmill attached to a numbered wall with a top covered in rotating pegs and buffer planks. “Each ball is worth 10 points,” the announcer reminded them, “except the special pink balls that are worth 50.”

“Ugh,” Ohkura blurted out, “it involves running?”

“Why would it be called Pinball _Runner_ if there wasn’t any running?!” Hina yelled.

Ohkura didn’t look any less nauseated.

“We can go first to demonstrate?” Sho suggested. “Who wants to run, raise your ha-” Before he could finish, or raise his hand much higher, MatsuJun grabbed his left wrist and held it down while Aiba went for his right forearm.

Nino looked over at Ohno. “I’m not running.”

The other sighed and raised his hand.

“You said I could play,” Sho objected.

“Who wants to call out the numbers? Raise your hand,” Nino replied. At his prompting, Aiba and MatsuJun let go at the same time, letting Sho’s arms spring up in the air. “Sho-kun, great, thanks for volunteering.”

“I’m always the caller,” Sho pouted quietly.

MatsuJun pushed Aiba towards him. “Have fun.”

“No, wait, I didn’t volunteer!” Aiba protested. And though he resisted as much as was Aiba-ly possible, his natural enthusiasm kicked in as soon as he was on top of the platform. “Okay, okay - I’ll call out anything that falls between 1 and 5 and you call out 6 through 10.”

“They usually only fall between 3 and 8, though,” Sho pointed out.

Aiba paused. “I’ll call out 3 through 5 and you call 6 through 8.”

“What if it falls between 5 and 6?” Yoko asked, now standing between Nino and MatsuJun.

“Ah, I’ll call those,” Aiba replied.

“Don’t listen to him,” Nino said, pushing Yoko back over to his group. “Stay on your side.”

“I was only trying to help,” Yoko mock protested.

“What about the pink balls?” MatsuJun asked.

“We’ll yell more if they’re pink,” Aiba concluded.

Ohno was on the treadmill, a basket strapped over his head. He was about to point out that Sho and Aiba yelling _more_ was kind of hard to distinguish from their regular outbursts when the game started and the treadmill began to move. He jogged along at an even pace, but stayed around the 3 slot despite larger protests from Sho.

Sho had been right – the balls usually only fell between 3 and 8. But more so, they tended to fall _at_ 3 and 7 and Ohno knew from experience that he could run himself ragged between the two numbers trying to catch everything, or he could conserve energy and stay around just one number and catch less, but miss less as well. And Ohno was all about the law of inertia.

“Six! Seven! Six, go to six! Seven! No eight!” Sho pleaded while Aiba called out a steady string of, "ThreeThreeThree."

The treadmill sped up, and then again. Ohno was starting to wonder if he had missed any special pink balls when both Aiba and Sho let out a constant stream of “TWOSEVENTWOSEVENTWOSEVEN!!”

“You can’t,” Ohno choked out, panting, “can’t – both – yell-”

“TWOSEVENTWOSEVEN!”

“Who has the pink ball?!” Ohno yelled out, speeding up to head more toward the 7.

He didn’t make it – the pink ball fell before his eyes and before he knew it, the game ended and the treadmill slowed to a stop. He put his hands on his knees to catch his breath. So much for conserving energy. “Who...had...the pink ball?”

“Both of us,” Sho said, stepping off of the platform.

“They both came out at the same time!”

“Arashi team score is,” the announcer said, “40 points!”

“Haaaaaaaaaa?!” Ohno said, looking up at the basket positioned over his head. Only four yellow balls. So much for trying to make life easier through better planning.

“Our turn!” Yokoyama said, grabbing Ryo by his arm and pulling him to the game. “Dokkun’s our runner.”

“Wait, what?”

Ohkura quickly moved to join Yoko in pulling. “Stop complaining.”

“I’m not complaining! You’re only happy because this means you don’t have to!” Ryo protested.

“I guess anyone could call out the numbers,” Hina commented.

Yoko dropped Ryo’s arm and ran over to Hina. “Anyone, right? I think Maru and Subaru should do it.”

“Really?” Hina started to ask, but Yoko had already grabbed their arms and started pulling them away.

Sho wasn’t sure, but he thought he saw Yoko shoot Yasu a strange glance as he went by. And he also thought he saw Yasu nod somewhat dejectedly. And his earlier decision to ignore anything that seemed out of the ordinary, even momentarily out of the ordinary, _had_ come back to haunt him. But what could a-

“You’re not fooling anyone,” Ryo shouted, “with that stupid grin!”

Ohkura covered his mouth, turned his head away and tried to keep pulling without giving away his giggling.

“Who’s going to call out what?” Hina asked.

“You can split up the numbers, or have one person concentrate on the bonus only,” Sho offered.

“Maru’s going to call out all the numbers for the yellow balls,” Baru said.

“And you’re going to call out the pink ones?” Hina asked.

“No. Maru’s going to call out the pink ones too.”

“What are you going to do?” Maru asked.

“Supervise.”

Ryo was harnessed into the equipment and before long, the treadmill started. He had no trouble keeping pace for the first part; neither did Maru, who called out one number at a time.

“Nice number, nice number,” Baru would comment afterward, leaning against him.

But then the treadmill sped up...and so did the balls.

“Five! Three! Seven! No, not that way, ah ah Ryo-chan – RYO-CHAN! AAH!”

“Maru!” Ryo yelled. “Use words!”

“Sorry!”

“Ma-ru!”

“Uh, uh, uh, uh, seven!” By the time the treadmill sped up again, Maru was doing little more than making random noises, accompanied by flailing limbs.

“Three,” Baru interjected. He took a step back from Maru and watched with his arms crossed, calling out numbers one at a time, with long pauses in between.

“Look at the numbers, don’t look at him!” Yoko yelled up at him. “Can I call numbers? Can I call them out? I’m calling them out!”

“That’s against the rules,” Nino replied.

“You picked them to do this!” Hina pointed out.

“Three,” Baru called out again.

Ryo gave out some sort of wailing grunt of “Subaru!” as he slowed down long enough for the treadmill to take him back right under the 3 slot, where, coincidentally, he caught a yellow ball, a pink one, and then another yellow. The game ended.

“Kanjani8 team has,” the announcer said, “140 points.”

Nino’s smiled faded. “Uh oh.”

“Nice number!” Baru proclaimed.

While the assistants changed the games and Ryo and Ohno had a minor discussion on what was more helpful – random numbers or complete gibberish – Nino pulled Sho to the side. “40 to 140? That’s not good.”

“Well it was only the fir-”

“It’d be really bad if we lost, right?”

“We’ve lost before,” Sho pointed out.

“That’s not what I meant.”

He paused. “Oh, you mean to Kanjani? We’ve lost to other members be-”

“No,” Nino said. “Sho-kun wanted to play, right?”

“I wanted to play, so if we lose, I’ll never get to play ag...” His eyes widened and he turned around to yell at the top of his lungs, “The next game is Jumping Shooter!”

They went over the rules briefly: two soccer goals, stacked on top of each other, and, behind a half-wall, three trampolines. One team would jump on the trampolines and throw while the other would try to block goals. Each ball in counted as 20 points.

“Arashi team will be in goal first,” the announcer stated.

“Yes!” Sho proclaimed. “Nino and I will be in goal!”

“What?” Nino asked.

“You don’t want us to lose, right?”

“No, I didn’t mean-”

Yoko looked at the trampolines. “Can I try something first?” He went to one and bounced on it a couple of times. Then he walked around it, looking at the edges.

“What?” Hina asked.

Yoko looked over at the goals, where Sho was putting on gloves in the bottom one and Nino was dragging his feet into the top. “The shooters will be...Dokkun!”

“I just played a game!”

“And...,” Yokoyama said, drawing it out for emphasis and raising his eyebrows. “Me.” He looked around and then stepped to the side, conveniently standing in front of Yasu and blocking him from the rest of the group. “It makes sense right?”

“You’re good at basketball,” Hina agreed.

“Yokoyama,” Sho called.

“What?”

Sho grinned widely and slapped his hands together several times in wide motions, the actual claps muffled through the goalie gloves. “You’re good at basketball,” he said, “but I’m good at soccer.”

Nino sighed in the top goal. “Why’d you have to say that?”

Yoko grabbed Ryo by the shoulders and pulled him in. “We’ll get more in if we aim for the same target.”

Ryo nodded.

“Sho-kun’s played more soccer, so we’ll go after N-”

“Ah, no,” Ryo butted in. “Nino’s got really good hand to eye coordination. And his goal is smaller.”

Yoko looked over his shoulder, caught Nino’s eye and smirked. “Gotcha.”

“Yokoyama..." Nino warned.

“Ready?” the announcer asked.

“Ready!” Yoko cried.

And though synchronizing their shots and aiming for the same goal, the bigger goal, was good strategy, Yoko quickly found out that it was much harder to control where he was throwing while jumping and running around.

Nino couldn’t say he was a big fan of Jumping Shooter. He wasn’t like Sho where the mere sight of a soccer ball could send his adrenaline raging. All in all, excellent hand to eye coordination aside, preventing high-flying objects from hitting him wasn’t terribly fun.

And with Yoko throwing randomly and wildly, blowing his own plan, Ryo started to throw his shots harder out of frustration.

One pelted Nino on the thigh before he could smack it away, which resulted in two going by him as he grabbed his leg. From Sho’s frustrated grunts below, he guessed that they weren’t doing so hot.

At the end game signal, Yoko and Ryo collapsed in heaps on the floor, gasping like fish out of water. “Yoko,” Ryo managed to sputter out, “I hate you.”

“How much did they get?” Sho asked. “20? 40? 60?”

“260 points,” the announcer replied.

“See?” Yoko gasped out.

“Okay,” Ryo answered. “I hate you...less.”

MatsuJun and Aiba clicked their tongues teasingly at their teammates. “We’re way behind now,” MatsuJun commented.

Sho nodded and smiled sheepishly. “Sorry?”

“Don’t worry, don’t worry,” Aiba replied, “we’ll make it up now.”

“Shooters for Arashi’s team are Aiba and Matsumoto,” the announcer stated, “who will be in goal for Kanjani8?”

Hina raised his hand. “That’s an easy one.”

Yoko nodded, with his chin stuck out and an intense expression, still panting. “You,” he started with a finger wiggling in the direction of the goals. “You...g- ...you.”

“And?”

Yoko had caught his breath a bit and was at least able to stand up somewhat straight. “Dokkun.”

Hina smacked him in the head. “You can’t pick Ryo for every game.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t have a problem with it,” Baru commented.

“Please select another member,” the announcer asked.

Ryo gave a small nod in annoyed satisfaction.

“Fine, fine,” Yoko said. He started to scan the group, his eyes settling on Maru. “Does it count if you stop the balls with your face?”

“Yuuchin, that’s a bad idea,” Maru warned nervously.

“Fine – Ohkura.”

“What?” Ohkura asked. “Who said you got to decide?”

“You’ll take up the most space in the small goal,” Yoko replied.

“Good enough for me,” Hina said, pushing Ohkura.

“Don’t question leadership,” Ryo added, springing up to help, his energy miraculously returned and his smile taking on a crinkling edge of sadism.

“Ohno-kun?”

Ohno looked up at the announcer’s voice. “Yes?”

“You look concerned.”

“I was just thinking,” he replied. “This episode seems to be about who can torture their team the most...” He would have instantly regretted saying such a thing, thus dooming himself later, but they had already made him run. How could it get any worse?

“Ready?” the announcer asked.

“Ready,” Hina said, grinning widely, his fangs on display and a determined look in his eyes. If soccer made Sho’s adrenaline soar, it caused Hina’s to downright explode.

“Ready,” MatsuJun and Aiba called from the other side, in full predatory mode with their first and second shots already in hand and their grips tight.

Ohkura could see their stares from the top goal. “Aah!” he yelled. “This is scary! Aah! I don’t want to do this!”

“We could play Pinball Runner again,” Ryo offered.

Ohkura clapped his hands. “Let’s go.”

Nino made a clicking noise. “He’s doomed.”

“Yeah?” Yoko asked.

“Aiba and MatsuJun don’t like to lose. And they really like this game.”

Yoko stuck out his bottom lip in thought. “Ohkura?”

“Yeah?”

“If you don’t blow our lead, I’ll take you out to eat tonight – anywhere you want to go.”

“Let’s do this!” Ohkura yelled.

The start signal sounded and Aiba and MatsuJun charged. They had the same idea as Ryo and Yoko – concentrate on the big goal. Even though Ohkura made some sort of flaily squelping sound every time a ball came near him, it was easier to throw downward and try to use the space of the bigger goal as an advantage than throw at the top goal with enough speed.

However, Hina jumped on most of the shots that came his way, swatting them out of the air with almost violent glee. The more he blocked, the giddier he seemed.

“He’s really good at this,” Ohno commented to Maru.

“He can slap balls like he slaps heads,” Maru replied absent-mindedly.

Yoko snorted; Sho choked. Subaru and Yasu just laughed as loud as they could. Nino covered his snicker and tried to look away.

“What?” Maru asked, suddenly aware that he had said something funny.

MatsuJun and Aiba nodded at each other – time to switch tactics. Which might have worked, had MatsuJun not suddenly realized that it was more fun to purposely peg Ohkura than try to score points.

“Ah, make it stop!” Ohkura yelled. “AAH!”

Their turn ended and the two shooters from Arashi bent over huffing, less winded than their Kanjani counterparts.

“Is that all?” Hina asked.

Ohkura flopped down to the ground and celebrated his survival. “I’m eating at least seven meals’ worth for this.”

“Arashi team score is,” the announcer said, “160.”

“How?” Sho bellowed out.

“Hina likes to smack balls,” Nino said with a shrug.

“I like what?” Hina said, walking back to the group.

They avoided his gaze. “Nothing.”

“Personally, I don’t like to judge people on what they like,” Nino finished.

“Arashi team meeting – stat,” Sho announced.

The five of them gathered in a circle and Sho very dramatically poked his own palm with a pointed finger. “This is not acceptable.”

“We’ve only played two games,” Ohno started.

“You’re missing the point,” Sho replied. “We’re supposed to set an example, right? This is our show, right? We don’t want Fuji TV coming back and telling us they’ve renamed the show to ‘VS Kanjani8,’ do we?”

“That’s ridiculous,” MatsuJun commented. “‘VS Kanjani8’ is too long to fit on a logo.”

“It’s not ridiculous,” Sho replied.

“He’s right,” Ohno commented.

“Thank you.”

“They could call it ‘VS8,’” he finished.

“That’s not much of a name change either. People probably wouldn’t notice it,” Aiba added.

“Guys...”

“Well, until they tuned in and there were two more of us than usual.”

“I’m sure they’d notice something else wrong first,” MatsuJun commented.

Sho sighed.

“No, no,” Nino butted in, “Sho-kun has a point he-”

One of the assistant directors lightly tapped him on the shoulder and motioned that the next game was ready.

Sho raised his head out of the huddle and yelled, “The next game is Rolling Coin Tower!” and then immediately returned to the circle. “Let’s just...try our best!”

“We always do,” MatsuJun replied, giving him a look.

“I mean-” Sho squeaked.

They ran out of time to talk about it, but Nino gave Sho a little nod as he went straight for one of the four stations around the table. Sho wasn’t about to contest this one for the right to participate – he gladly watched Aiba and MatsuJun battle it out with paper-rock-scissors for the second spot.

Meanwhile, Hina asked, "Who's playing this one?"

“I’m too nervous to stack coins into a tower. They’d just fall!” Yoko blurted out in a panic. He quickly grabbed Yasu around the shoulders and said, “Yasu feels the same way!”

“I’m not playing a third game in a row,” Ryo protested with his arms crossed.

“Pass!” Ohkura declared, holding his shoulder.

“Are you going to get hyper and bounce around?” Hina asked Maru.

“Probably.”

Hina sighed. That answered that.

The game was pretty self-explanatory. One person stacked “coins,” worth various points, on the round table that revolved clockwise between players. Each player had to add three coins each time the stack passed him until the tower became so unstable that it collapsed. Each player had a designated space marked on the table; if the tower fell in that space, that person was out and his team lost. Self-explanatory and not terribly complicated.

And something they could win, Hina felt. Initially. By the time the stack passed Baru for a second time, he was starting to doubt his choice of teammate. All four players had put down the thickest combination possible, the 10-point coins; as Subaru added 30 more points, he started to blink frequently and deeply, betraying his growing nervousness.

“Shibuyan,” Hina commented, “you should have used some of the smaller coins.”

“He put down the big ones,” Baru replied, pointing at MatsuJun to his right.

“It’s not really a problem at this height,” Nino chided, adding another 30 points.

“You’re probably right,” Hina conceded, putting on 30 himself.

“Oi!” Baru called out from across the table, “you just used the big ones!”

MatsuJun didn’t say anything and instead took the next three 10-point coins and stacked them on the edges of each other, throwing off the balance of the tower for the rest of the game.

Subaru didn't have time to protest. “This is bad! Crap!” he yelled as he grabbed another stack worth 30 points. The tower left his section just as he had managed to put on the last coin, biting his lip and making a face like he had just been stabbed in the ribs.

“Shibuyan!”

“He put down 30!” Baru argued.

Nino wanted to say that it was fine at this height too, but he had to concentrate to place the next 30 on top of MatsuJun’s strategically placed coins and Subaru’s slapdash ones.

Hina wouldn’t have fallen for it anyway. He put on three of the thinner 5-point coins. “This is bad...”

MatsuJun was focused intensely on the tower, seeing nothing else. He added one 10 and two of the 5s.

“Crap!” Baru yelled out. “I, uh, what should I-” Well...if MatsuJun put on one 10 and two 5s...

The tower collapsed before he could finish placing the third coin.

“Subaru!”

“MatsuJun did it,” Baru replied, slightly indignant.

“Kanjani8’s score is,” the announcer stated, “165.”

“Not bad,” Yoko commented.

“Arashi’s score is 170.”

“Not bad at all.”

“Plus,” the announcer continued, “the 100 point bonus for winning. Arashi earns 270 points.”

“What?!” Yoko yelled. “No one said anything about bonus points for winning!”

Sho quickly added the numbers in his head and yelled out, “Arashi team meeting, stat!” for the second time that day.

“I want a bonus!” Yoko continued.

“We’re almost a hundred points behind,” Sho commented, his face serious.

Too serious for Aiba – he was about to crack up. “It’s okay, it’s okay.”

“Yeah, we’ve lost before,” Ohno commented.

“But do we like losing?” Nino replied. “Do you like losing, Jun?”

MatsuJun gave him a wary look. “Not really.”

“Right,” Nino continued. “Aiba-”

MatsuJun clicked his tongue. “Nishikido would probably bring it up the next time we go out and it’d be really obnoxious...”

“Good, go with that,” Nino said, slightly annoyed. “Aiba.”

“Yes!”

“If we lose, it’ll be your fault and you’ll have to do the punishment at the end.”

“Wait,” Aiba protested, “wait, I want to win just as much as MatsuJun!”

“Oh-chan.”

Ohno gave Nino a suspicious look. “You’re really interested in this...”

“If we win, you can go home sooner.”

Ohno pumped his fist in the air. “Let’s go win!”

Over on the other side of the room, the members of Kanjani8 watched the Arashi circle with some interest. “What do you suppose they’re talking about?” Yasu mused out loud.

"Hmm, probably something about," Ohkura started to answer his question, only to be completely derailed in thought. "Does that thing have an infinity sign duct taped to its forehead?” He pointed to a giant statue, a grinning cartoon character that stood in the middle of the next game.

“Sorry,” the announcer said. “It was a last minute change. We had a giant high heel for the super models but we didn’t think it was appropriate.”

Half of Arashi joined them and the announcer started to explain the point of the game – the giant statue before them was held up by several boxes. Each box had a color and a number and each team would take turns removing boxes. The teams had one minute to choose and could select up to three boxes, with each box worth 10 points. However, if the giant fell over during a turn, the other team would be awarded an additional 100 points for winning.

Lingering behind the group, Sho put a hand on Nino’s shoulder, beaming. “You’re a good friend.”

Nino slightly cringed. “Okay...”

Sho bounced his way to his position for the next game – thanks to Nino’s peptalk, they were going to win. He couldn’t help but shake his fists happily. He would never not play again! “The next game is Giant Crash!” he yelled at the top of his lungs.

“Kanjani8 team, please stand by.”

“You can get rid of the easy ones first and get a quick 30 points,” Ryo stated.

“Isn’t that wrong?” Yoko said.

“How is that wrong?”

“It’s completely balanced right now. We could take away risky random numbers and it wouldn’t matter.”

Ryo shot Yoko a look.

“You can take away the risky ones now!” he argued.

Sho ended up as far back from the game as possible without climbing into the stands. He was pumped, he was ready to go, his team was behind him now and they were going to start aggressively playing to win. And what better way to take an opponent down than by observing them and studying for weaknesses?

Nino must have had the same idea, Sho thought, as he was on one side of the floor, with Ohno next to him, glaring intently over at Subaru on the other.

“That’s stupid!” Ryo yelled. “If you take those out now they’ll fall before we even get a single point.”

“They totally won’t.”

“You better pick something quick!” Hina butted in.

It wasn’t hard to keep a watch on Kanjani8, since every time Sho’s attention drifted away one of them would yell something to draw it back. But he could still see Nino out of the corner of his eye and there was something about him that kept turning Sho’s head in that direction.

Nino, for his part, was still staring down Subaru. Only now, instead of merely standing next to Ohno, he was leaned up against him.

Sho looked over. Subaru was glaring back and had his arms around Maruyama’s waist.

“Red 7!” Yasu yelled out.

“Sounds good,” Hina said, squeezing in between Yoko and Ryo to tell the control panel to lower box Red 7 as quickly as he could.

“Good idea!” After Red 7 dropped, Yoko punched in two more, dropping Red 6 and Red 3 as well.

“What the hell?” Ryo asked. “You can’t get rid of everything under a foot!”

“It wasn’t everything – there’s still one more box,” Yoko pointed out. “It didn’t fall, did it?”

“Arashi’s turn,” the announcer called out.

MatsuJun jumped up on the half-wall surrounding the game and started prowling back and forth, trying to figure out balance and strategy. Aiba was at the control panel, ready to take commands.

Good. MatsuJun was really good at the game and Aiba could push buttons. They didn’t need Sho to help out, which meant Sho could continue to watch Nino, who was now very openly grabbing Ohno’s butt.

“Quit it,” Ohno muttered. “What happened to winning?”

“I’m trying to win right now,” Nino replied.

MatsuJun catwalked around the game. “Aiba. Take down Green 2.”

“Okay!”

Yokoyama leaned over on Aiba’s shoulder. “Aiba. Aiba. Arashi’s amazing,” he commented. “You play this game every week?”

Over across the room, Baru wasn’t about to be outdone. He kept one arm wrapped around Maru’s waist and held the other out, like a magician would introducing a trick, before slapping it on the right side of the back of Maruyama’s pants and rubbing.

Maru stiffened a little and gave a quick, confused glance back.

“It’s really, really impressive,” Yoko continued, hanging off of Aiba’s shoulder. “If we had a show like this, we’d lose every week and then they’d fire us and we’d never work again.”

Aiba laughed.

“Yellow 9,” MatsuJun called, moving further away on the half-wall.

Nino started to look frustrated. He continued the massage and decided to throw in some biting on the shoulder to up the anti.

Baru pointed his two fingers at his own eyes and then pointed to where Ohkura and Ryo were completely leaning on Yasu like they were crippled and he was the only crutch in town and to Yoko, who was so far over on Aiba he could have whispered into his ear.

Biting and butt grabbing obviously wouldn’t be enough – Nino needed to be bold. He looked Subaru straight in the eyes and leaned over to give Ohno a few kisses on the cheek.

Ohno continued to watch the game at hand. If one “quit it” didn’t work, there was really no hope. He’d just have to let Nino’s touching run its course.

MatsuJun had made it completely around the giant statue and finalized his last choice. “Blue 6.”

Aiba looked slightly confused. “What did he say?”

“Red 2,” Yoko replied, nodding.

Nino smirked. It didn’t matter how many members of Kanjani8 piled on top of each other – Baru would have to full on kiss Maruyama to win now, and logistically that wouldn’t happen unless Maru decided to courteously bend to Baru’s height. Which seemed unlikely to happen as he continued to stare at the game with intense concentration. Game, set, match. Nino made a little motion with his hand across his neck to tell Baru the bad news.

Baru smiled. A little too wickedly.

“Red 2?” Aiba asked.

“He totally said Red 2,” Yoko repeated.

“Yokoyama,” Hina warned.

Yoko waved him off.

“But Red 2’s right here and MatsuJun’s over on the other side.”

Subaru held out his hand again and this time he let it hover in _front_ of Maru, right around his crotch.

“You wouldn’t dare,” Nino mouthed.

“Oh yeah?” Baru mouthed back.

“Aiba, hurry up!” MatsuJun yelled.

“Okay,” he replied. “Red 2.”

“What? No, Aiba, I said-”

Red 2 sunk down under the statute, leaving one of its feet completely unsupported.

MatsuJun cringed on the other side.

“Ah!” Maru yelled out. “Shibuyan, stop! Subaru! Shibutani-san!”

Nino’s mouth hung open a little. Huh, so maybe he would dare...

The giant statue stayed in place and Kanjani’s turn was announced. “It didn’t fall!” Yoko proclaimed.

“Now what?” Hina asked.

“All of the weight must be in that other foot,” Ryo added.

“So we can get rid of Yellow 5,” Yoko replied, pushing the buttons. “And then...Blue 6!”

As soon as Blue 6 moved, the giant tipped over, face first, crashing and falling apart – the duct tape infinity sign smacking against the half-wall.

“Kanjani8...OUT!”

“What the hell?” Yoko muttered.

When they all came back together in the middle of the floor, Maru was cringing and trying his hardest not rub the front of his pants. “On national television?” he cried.

Ohkura was on his knees, laughing; Baru just shrugged.

“Aiba-san,” the announcer asked. “You chose Red 2.”

“Yes.”

“Matsumoto picked Blue 6.”

“Yep.”

“Why did you take down Red 2 then?” MatsuJun asked.

“Yoko told me to.”

“Ah, I did not,” Yoko said, backing away. “He asked what you said and I told him I heard, ‘Red 2'!”

“You are aware that Yokoyama’s not on our team, right?” Nino asked.

“He was right,” Aiba answered, confident in his choice.

“What if he had been wrong?” Sho asked.

“I wouldn’t have listened,” Aiba replied. “I know better than that.”

“Arashi gets the bonus points for winning,” the announcer butted in. “That puts the totals at...”

“Yes? Yes?” Sho asked eagerly.

“Arashi has 600 points. Kanjani8 added 40 points for a total of...605.”

A wave of “oohs” crested over the audience and Sho could feel his heart skip a beat…or two. Possibly three, which left him feeling a bit nauseous. “Falling Pipe!” he gasped out, “Falling Pipe! Falling Pipe!”

They were so close to winning now. And they were _good_ at the Falling Pipe game, whereas guest teams tended to struggle. He expected to look over at Yokoyama on the other side, equally frantic and panicking. But Yoko had a smirk on his face and seemed calm. It made Sho panic just a little bit more. “What are you up to?” he muttered.

“Falling Pipe,” the announcer said. “Arashi will catch first.”

“I’ll go,” MatsuJun replied.

Sho was conflicted. He wanted to win, and with that in mind MatsuJun was a very good choice. But Falling Pipe was also the game he got to play the least...

“Who will be the chooser for Kanjani8?” the announcer asked.

They all looked at each other. The point of the game was to catch two falling pipes, which each had a series of point values assigned to different areas along the pipe. The chooser would pick which two locations the pipes would fall from and decide when the pipes should fall during a 20 second interval. The catcher, then, would try to catch the pipes, with more points awarded the faster he reacted. Since there were four possible slots for the pipes to drop from, a wise chooser could slip the pipes past an unprepared or slow catcher, blocking the opponent’s team from scoring.

“I’ll do it,” Ohkura volunteered.

“Really?” Hina asked.

“Ah, Ohkura versus Matsumoto,” the announcer commented, as both took their positions. "That’s a rare combination isn’t it?”

Ohkura nodded without saying much, looking over the numbers. MatsuJun leaned on the railing between the pipes. “We ate out one time,” he explained.

“Really?” Hina asked again.

“Murakami-san?” the announcer prompted.

“It’s strange isn’t it?” Hina replied, pointing. “He volunteered.”

“Actually,” MatsuJun said, “I called him.”

“No, I meant right now.”

“Ready,” Ohkura announced.

“Any guesses?” Aiba called out.

MatsuJun shifted his weight, causing his hip to jut out a bit, as he crossed his arms and carefully looked at his opponent. “I think...pipes 2 and 3.”

“That’s not it,” Ohkura replied.

“You’re not supposed to tell him!” both teams cried out.

“Oh? Hmmm, then...1 and 2.”

“I didn’t pick 1 at all,” Ohkura replied.

“2 and 4?”

“I didn’t pick 4 either.”

MatsuJun answered, confusion apparent, “That leaves 2 and 3, then.”

Ohkura shrugged. “I didn’t pick 2 and 3.”

“Ready?” the announcer asked. As MatsuJun positioned himself in the middle, making sure he could grab in any direction if needed, he replied, “Ready.” It seemed really obvious to stay around 2 and 3, and yet, maybe that was the point... He crouched and looked up at the ceiling where the pipes fell, his hands open and waiting. Maybe Ohkura was just trying to get in his head.

“Ready,” Ohkura commented, leaning on the control panel.

“Start!”

The announcer barely got the last sound of the word out of his mouth before Ohkura slapped the “drop” button, sending the pipes down the 2 and 3 positions.

Instinct took over. MatsuJun grabbed with his right hand, catching part of the pipe at 2 and stood there momentarily blinking at it. “What just happened?”

“Yay!” Ohkura proclaimed with a victory sign and big dopey grin.

When he rejoined Kanjani8, however, he was met with a slap from Hina. “What the hell? You said you didn’t pick 2 and 3 and it was 2 and 3!”

“I didn’t,” Ohkura protested.

“2 and 3 dropped!”

“I picked 3 and 2.” He instantly flinched. “Ah, what was I supposed to do, say it was right?”

“What just happened?” MatsuJun repeated.

“Matsumoto-kun, you can step down now,” the announcer told him.

“I’m sorry, but, where was the preamble?”

“...Matsumoto-kun...”

“Ten points is ten points,” Nino said. “At least we’re in the lead now.”

“You’ve seen VS Arashi before, right?” MatsuJun asked, walking back to the others. “There’s preamble.”

“There’ll be preamble next time,” Nino replied, dismissively. “Your turn to catch.”

“Oh okay,” Yoko replied. “We’ll send...” He scanned over his team, lingering on Yasu. He turned around and looked straight at Nino. “Maru.”

“Seriously?” Yasu yelled.

“Ohno,” Nino replied, meeting Yoko’s gaze.

“Time out!” Baru called.

“I don’t think we have time-outs,” Aiba commented.

“We don’t,” MatsuJun said.

Baru looked around for a second and then motioned for Hina to follow him out to the middle. He pointed to the floor and pushed Hina to the ground, making him lay down. "We have to take a time out now.”

“Why?”

“Injury time out,” he said, deadpan.

Hina reached up and took a swipe at Baru. “I’m not injured!”

“Injuries are very serious,” Nino said, pushing his group over to the side. “You should really take care of yourself.”

“I’m not injured!”

“Okay,” Nino said. He looked over his shoulder; Yoko had already assembled Kanjani8 in to a similar group.

“What’s the plan?”

“We’re five points ahead,” Nino quietly pointed out to his team. “We can win with this round. Oh-chan, do you have any stories from _Uta no Onii-san_ that you could use against him?”

“We’re five points behind,” Yoko said to his team without any real discretion. “They can win with this round. Maru-chan, did you tell Ohno anything embarrassing during _Uta no Onii-san_ that he could use?”

Ohno shrugged. “Not really. Nothing that Yokoyama hasn’t already said before.”

Maru shrugged. “Not really,” he said. “Nothing that you haven’t already blabbed.”

“Besides,” MatsuJun said, “I don’t think embarrassment’s going to work.”

“Maru does more embarrassing things on his own, anyway,” Ryo added.

MatsuJun pointed over to the other group. “You know?”

“Paaan!’s not embarrassing,” Maru countered.

They all turned to watch Kanjani8's lively discussion of tactics.

“Do it again,” Ohkura prompted.

Everyone in Arashi nodded as they watched Maruyama jump up from the circle and yell, excitedly, “PAAAN!”

“Good point,” Nino replied.

“Do it again,” Ohkura repeated.

“Don’t worry,” Ohno said, walking away from the group.

Hina poked him in the arm. “Knock it off.” He motioned for them to return to the game.

“Let’s just play?”

Both teams returned to their supportive clumps out on the floor as Ohno and Maru took their positions in the game. It didn’t take either long to get ready and after a small little nod from Maru, the announcer shouted, “Start!”

“Maru-chan.”

“Hmm?”

“How was lunch today?”

Maru started to blush a little and tried his best not to smile, which only resulted in a face probably best left off of television. “...good.”

“You liked it?”

“.........thanks for treating me.”

“Hang on, wait a minute, hold up!” Yoko yelled. The 20 second interval ran out on his last words. “What do you mean, ‘Thanks for treating me?!’”

“We went out for lunch today,” Maru answered.

“Today? Today?” Yoko asked. “Together? Even though you knew we were filming this later?”

“Hang on, wait a minute,” Sho yelled. “You guys knew you’d be on? I thought you were last minute replacements?” He looked over at Ohno.

Ohno shrugged in response. “Maru told me at lunch.”

“And you didn’t say anything?!”

Ohkura made a small noise of disgust. “I thought you smelled like fried chicken today.”

"Jealousy's an ugly thing, Tacchon," Yasu commented.

“It probably slipped his mind, right?” Aiba said. “Right, Riida?”

Sho pointed a finger at him. “You even sent me a text during lunch!”

Ohno leaned over to the control panel and put his hand on the “drop” button, averting Sho’s glare. “Ready, Maru?”

“Yes!” Maru answered. “Wait, no - no I’m not-” One of the pipes fell next to him and he reached over, lunging to grab it, sliding almost face first into the pole. Maru was able to hang on to the tail end, his fingers just in the orange of the 5-point zone. He momentarily thought that was pretty funny – orange, how perfect – but thought it funnier that there was only about a hand's width of space between his nose and the pole.

There was something about Maru’s howling laugh that reminded Aiba of a fact he had learned during his part time job as Aiba Masaki, cast member of _Tensai! Shimura Doubutsuen_. “Did you know,” he said, “that the female hyena actually has a peni-”

“You’ve told me that one before,” MatsuJun interrupted, “and I don’t think it needs to be brought up right now.”

“Sa-to-shi,” Sho mewed, with pleading eyes.

“He told me was nervous about the pipe game during lunch.” Ohno smiled. “Show’s over, time to go home.”

“The final totals are,” the announcer said, “Kanjani8 team with 610 points and Arashi team with 610. A tie.”

“Never done that before,” MatsuJun remarked.

Baru raised his hands hesitantly. “We didn’t lose?”

“However...this is a special,” the announcer continued.

“We can't let it end in a tie,” Nino agreed.

“One more round of Falling Pipe?”

“Yes,” Sho said, standing authoritatively and commanding as much dignity as he could muster. If he played and won points – and Kanjani8 got none – he’d be the hero. From there on out, if he volunteered to play and the other members hung their heads or laughed or ignored him, he could then say, “Do you remember? Do you remember the special?” It was he, Sakurai Sho, who pulled through in the end and won that important battle. He pumped his fist several times and internally yelled, “Yes!” over and over.

“One more round,” he said, running toward the stairs, “and I’ll be the catcher!”

“Sho-kun, I don’t think that’s such a good idea,” Aiba said, grabbing his shirt to stop him.

“Let me do it,” Sho pleaded. “Please. Pleaaaaaaase.”

Aiba let go. “Okay.”

Nino gave them both a look.

“If you mess up and we lose and I get Most _Dame_ Arashi because of it, I’m taking you with me,” Aiba replied with a warm smile.

Sho gulped. “That’s really scary, Aiba. But worth it!”

“I’m sorry,” MatsuJun interrupted. “Has anyone else noticed that Yokoyama is missing?”

Sho and Aiba instinctively grabbed each other, fear on their faces at the thought that Yokoyama was now unaccounted for. “What?”

“He’s been missing for the last five minutes or so.”

The lights went out, save one spotlight that hit at the top of the stairs. Some music that sounded somewhat familiar to Arashi and entirely too familiar to Kanjani8 started playing on the speakers.

Yokoyama emerged, completely dressed in his "Black" Eito Ranger uniform, posing with his hand on his hip and his other arm raised. The house lights came back on and he hesitated at the top of the stairs. “I was hoping for a smoke effect...”

“Ah!” Maru cried out, looking around nervously. “It’s a _dokkiri_?”

“It’s not a _dokkiri_ ,” Ryo said, giving him a little shove.

“It can’t be a _dokkiri_ , right?” Baru added. “Hina still has pants on.” He instinctively cringed, expecting to receive the full wrath such a comment deserved.

Instead, when Baru turned to look, Hina was merely nodding. “He’s right.”

Yoko ran down the stairs to the control panel. “If Sho-kun’s catching, then I get to choose.”

“That’s fine,” Sho said, walking to the game.

“Shouldn’t someone explain the Eito Ranger costume?” Yasu asked.

“I hope you’re ready,” Yoko said, raising his eyebrows and sticking the tip of his tongue to the edge of his smile.

“I don’t think everyone watching will understand?”

“I’m ready,” Sho replied.

Yoko waggled his finger at his friend and then sunk behind the control panel to secretly pick two numbers.

“We have these alter egos that we use in concert and they wear uniforms like that.”

“Done!” Yoko called out.

“And that’s the theme music we use and the skits are really cheek-in-tongue,” Yasu continued.

“I don’t think anyone’s listening,” Ohkura pointed out.

Yasu nodded. Probably not, since no one had bothered to point out cheek-in-tongue...

“Ready?” the announcer asked. “Start!”

“Sho-kun,” Yoko said, with a grin, leaning over the control panel. “Do you know what I found out about you on the set of ‘The Quiz Show 2?’”

Sho was looking up at the ceiling, but noticeably stiffened. “No?”

“During one of the breaks I decided to peek through your dressing room and I found out something really interesting-”

“Yokoyama...”

“About Sho-kun’s underwear!”

Sho choked. “Yokoyama, don’t you dare.”

“It’s a huuuuuuge secret.”

“Yokoyama!”

Yoko hit the drop button and Sho completely missed both pipes, ending up empty handed and out of breath.

Nino scowled. “He missed? Go ahead and spill it anyway, Yoko.”

Yoko smiled. “I was just making crap up. I never went into his dressing room.”

“Yokoyama!!!”

“Our turn! We can totally win this,” Yoko said. "Go, Dokkun!”

“This isn’t Pokémon,” Ryo muttered.

There was a small cough that caught all of their attention. At the back of the group, Yasu stood smiling, with hopeful eyes. “I think the rules say that every member of a team has to participate?”

“Oh,” Yoko said, sullen. He suddenly perked up and started excitedly pushing Yasu towards the stairs. “That’s right!”

“Finally,” Yasu laughed.

“Our last player is our secret weapon,” Yoko bragged.

“Really?” Yasu asked.

“Yes,” Yoko said. “We’re going to win with Secret Weapon Yasuda. There’s no way we’ll lose now. Yasu’s amazing at athletics.”

“That’s right,” Baru joined in. “He’s good at everything he tries. He can do anything.”

“Right?” Yoko called. “He’s totally our secret weapon. Right? Right?”

As the rest of Kanjani8 joined in, singing the praises of Yasu in exaggerated ways, Nino waved the rest of Arashi close enough to whisper to them. “Who knows anything about Yasuda?”

He got silence in return.

Yasu was the unknown, the enigma. Everyone in Arashi had worked with Yoko at some point; MatsuJun could make Nishikido blush just by staring at him. Aiba had a bit of dirt on Murakami and Nino himself had some interesting gossip from the movie set he had shared with Ohkura. And not that it was an issue at that point, but had he wanted to, Ohno only had to think of the last time he and Maru went out drinking. Even Shibutani was somewhat familiar to them thanks to his prominent role during their junior days. But Yasuda? With the crotch of his pants extended down to his knees, even on a game show? The Yasuda who thought nothing of putting on skirts and makeup?

Yoko was right. He _was_ the secret weapon. They didn’t know anything about him.

Nino exhaled deeply. He was just going to have to rely on skill.

He slinked as low as he could to stay out of sight while carefully selecting the two numbers he thought were the hardest to catch. “Ready.”

“Ready!” Yasu called out cheerfully.

“Start!”

“Hmm, we’ve never worked together,” Nino started, watching carefully.

“No, not yet.”

“Well maybe on the next project-” He hit the button.

Yasu saw the pipes coming. He could easily take a step forward and grab both within plenty of time. He didn’t need to get more than 5 points, but he was set to get at least 40 or so. He was going to blow them completely out of the water and win the game.

He leaned forward to take that necessary step...

...and somehow tripped, falling on the platform and missing both pipes all together.

Nino looked as stunned as he felt.

“...yay?” Aiba asked.

Subaru was cringing. “He really is good at everything he does,” he said.

“But he’s strangely quite clumsy,” Hina finished.

Yokoyama walked out in front of the Falling Pipe game and took a deep bow. “I’m sorry about our Yasu. Really, really sorry that he lied and wasn’t a secret weapon at all.”

“That’s not necessary!” Yasu called out.

“We’re still tied,” MatsuJun pointed out.

“I’m okay with a tie,” Ryo suggested.

The majority of both groups nodded their heads – as did the director and several members of the staff.

“We didn’t lose!” Sho proclaimed, dancing around. “We didn’t lose! I get to play whenever I want to!”

“How do you figure that?” Nino asked.

Sho stopped mid-dance. “Wha-what? We didn’t lose so...that means...”

“We could have won,” MatsuJun pointed out.

“But, I...I...” Sho sighed and hung his head.

“We didn’t lose,” Aiba added, “but we didn’t win either. Do we still have to do Most _Dame_ Arashi?”

“What is that?” Ohkura asked.

“When we don’t win, we have to select who was the worst player on our team,” MatsuJun explained.

“The person most responsible for us losing,” Nino added.

“And then they’re dropped through a trap door,” Ohno finished.

“Since we didn’t win, I guess technically we still have to do it?” Aiba said.

“No problem,” Baru said. “Drop Yasu.”

“Eh?!” Yasu called out.

“That’s a great idea,” Yoko said. “Make Yasu the most _dame_.”

“But I didn’t get to play anything!”

“Hurry up, Yasu, go drop through the trap door,” Ryo added.

“Maru? You’re on my side right?”

Maru nodded in apology while Ohkura, leaning on him, laughed “Sorry, Sho-chan,” Maru sang out. “But you missed the pipe completely.”

“Wait,” Aiba said. “This works. Yasuda can be a temporary member of Arashi and that evens out the teams. Then we can make him fall through the-”

MatsuJun pat Aiba on the shoulder. “Don’t worry about it, we’re not dropping him.”

“No, go ahead and drop him, we’re okay with that,” Baru said.

Once the show had wrapped, MatsuJun waved Ryo over. “Hey, want to go out for drinks now?”

“Yeah, sure. Ninomiya?”

“Yeah, why not. Ohkura?”

“Yay! Maru-chan?”

“Com-ing! Oh-chan?”

“Hm. Sho-kun?”

“Y-yes. Yokoyama-kun?”

“Let’s go! Aiba?”

“Okay okay! Murakami?”

“Uhn, yeah – but I’m not paying this time! Subaru?”

“Yo,” Subaru said, motioning for them to head out the door.

Sho forgot all about the stress of play and how disorienting it felt to have best laid plans go awry. “Okay, let’s go!” he said, taking the lead and heading out of the studio.

When the last person had walked out, Yasu realized they had no intention of finishing the chain of invitations. “Wait, what about me?” he called, running after.

***

A week later, in a small, unremarkable restaurant, Ninomiya Kazunari sat at the bar without any real attempt at being inconspicuous. He distractedly played games on his cell phone with one hand on the rim of his glass. Anyone looking for him could have found him – and they did.

“No sunglasses, not even a hat. Seriously?”

Nino looked over for only a second and resumed his game. “You too,” he countered.

Yokoyama sat down next to him, setting his cell phone down on the bartop. “I don’t have to worry about being recognized.”

“Oh?” Nino turned off the game. “You’re not worried about the other members finding out?”

“They won’t. I told the managers to pick them up for filming an hour early.”

“They’re not going to be mad at you for that?”

Yoko shrugged. “They’re...sort of used to it. What about you? What about Arashi?”

Nino coolly flipped his phone back open and pushed a button, looking at Yoko. “Pick a member.”

Yoko considered his options carefully. Some members of Arashi were more lax about these things than others. “MatsuJun.”

“Okay,” Nino replied. He hit the call button and then turned on the speakerphone, placing the cell on the barspace between them.

MatsuJun picked up after two rings. “Hello?”

“Jun-kun, there’s something I need to tell you about the filming we had last week for-”

“Are you in a bar?” MatsuJun interrupted.

“No,” Nino answered without hesitation. “Last week-”

“It’s really loud there,” MatsuJun continued.

“Last week’s taping with Kanjani8.”

“Yeah?”

“Yokoyama and I set it up. We planned the entire thing.”

“A prank?”

“Yeah,” Nino said, looking over at Yoko.

“Huh. Is it a restaurant then?”

“No,” Nino replied.

“Oh. I was thinking about calling Nishikido and seeing if he wants to go out later.”

“Ah, Jun,” Nino said, “ask him when he wants to go and then call me back, okay? Bye.”

Yoko sat with his arms crossed. “That’s impressive.”

Nino shrugged with a smug smile. “What can I say?”

“I can’t get anyone in Kanjani to pick up in less than four rings,” Yoko finished.

“Right. Well, we both lost so...”

“Which means neither won.”

“Which means,” Nino answered. He reached over into a bag beside him at the bar.

Yoko momentarily thought about holding out, about demanding a rematch or at least one last contest. But when he saw his Nintendo DS there before his eyes, Nino holding it out for him to take, he found himself not caring about technicalities.

He reached into his bag and pulled out another DS.

Nino’s eyes lit up.

“On the count of 3?”

Nino nodded.

They counted together and quickly grabbed their consoles from the other person.

“You took off one of the stickers!” Yoko cried out.

“I didn’t,” Nino replied. “It rubbed off.”

“How?!”

Nino shrugged as he thoroughly inspected his own, finally turning it on. “The battery’s completely worn down.”

Yoko stuck out his chin. “I had to make sure it was still working while I held it ransom.”

“You had to check every day, I guess?”

“I had it for two weeks!”

“Hey,” Nino said, motioning his head to the bartender standing before them. “Want something to drink?”

“Are you buying?”

“Of course not.”

“Then no,” Yoko replied, putting his DS away into his bag, which he then slung over his shoulder. “Besides, I can’t stay long. See ya.” He paused. “Holding someone’s DS for ransom is a terrible idea.”

“I’ll never do it again,” Nino promised.

“Same here,” Yoko replied. He waved good-bye and left.

Nino took one last drink from his glass. MatsuJun would probably be calling back soon. He stood up to pull out his wallet when he saw that Yoko had left his cell phone on the bar.

His lips curled.

Holding someone’s Nintendo DS for ransom was wrong. He would never do it again. Cell phones, however – fair game. After all, Nino thought, _Himitsu no Arashi-chan_ had a special coming up later that month...


End file.
